Slaying the Dragon that is Trauma Series: Is my Anger Because of What Happened?
Trauma and anger often go hand in hand. Have you been asking yourself questions about why you seem to feel angry about how something has impacted you and your life? After experiencing a traumatic event, it is very common for trauma survivors to feel angry at how the damage has affected them and their plans — financially, in relationships, or in changing the overall direction of their lives. This anger is a natural trauma response, but when left unmanaged, it can spill over into every area of your life.
Real-life stress can make us act differently, get angry, and it may be harder to control our anger outbursts. I want to help you understand ways to assist with managing anger after trauma while you are navigating all that comes with your experiences. Here are practical tips on managing anger:
Self-Management
The intensity of your anger can impact your decision-making skills and how you communicate with others. When you notice yourself becoming angry, take a break. You can go for a 5-minute walk, use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, or pull out your journaling phone app to vent it out. These grounding techniques for anger are simple but effective ways to regulate your nervous system when trauma triggers arise.
Communicate
Healthy communication is key. Communicate with the individual you may be angry with. However, if you need to wait until your anger is at a manageable level, then make sure you take time to process your thoughts before speaking out of anger. Speak with purpose about why you feel angry, and avoid blaming statements such as using words like "always" and "never." Learning to communicate effectively when angry is a skill that trauma therapy can help you develop.
Problem Solving
Consider your specific situation and see about changing the environment or factors that may be contributing to your anger. Look for coping strategies and alternatives that might relieve stress for you. Sometimes simply identifying your anger triggers is the first step toward reducing their power over you.
When I get passionately upset or angry about something that has affected me or I truly care about, I know that I may not be thinking rationally. I know for me that I need time to process my thoughts and sift through irrational statements I could make that might cause more harm and not be beneficial to relieving stress in the end. Take time to learn your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to anger, and seek out anger management techniques to help you manage trauma-related anger.
Other healthy coping mechanisms for anger include: getting connected to a support group that might have experienced a similar situation that has caused your anger; practicing mindfulness with stretching or yoga; visualizing a calming place; and creating a routine of healthy habits to positively alter your anger. Mindfulness for anger management is backed by research as an effective way to reduce emotional reactivity and increase self-awareness.
If after an event you are experiencing anger and higher stress levels that feel unmanageable, you may need to reach out to a professional therapist to assist you with learning other coping mechanisms that work for you. Anger management therapy and trauma counseling can help you understand the connection between your trauma and your anger, and give you tools to manage both. At Ember & Lighthouse Wellness, Lexi can walk through the anger in your present that impacts you and others, while finding the root together in session. Whether you're dealing with anger from childhood trauma, domestic violence, sexual assault, or any other traumatic experience, you don't have to manage it alone.
Feel free to call for a consultation and let us know if you are looking for therapy in person or virtually — whenever you are ready! Reach out to Lexi Eller, LCSW-S at lexi@emberlighthousewellness.com or text/call 972-333-3870 to schedule an appointment.
References:
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/pep19-01-01-002_0.pdf&
https://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-fear-and-trauma-contribute-to-anger/